Not exactly sure how to breach this subject, as I always find it difficult to write about emotional things. I don't want to stay there, don't want to linger. Want it to be over, done with, "I'm fine, really". In fact, I was thinking of just bypassing this subject and waiting for some fun to come along and just post about that, but deep down inside I knew that I obviously could not go on without a mention of my little friend.
This past Monday I had to put my 13 yr. old cat, B, to sleep. He had been diagnosed with kidney disease in March and had only a bit of time left ....well, a few months to be exact OR a possibility of up to five years. At least that is what I was told by the vet and these statistics seemed to be confirmed though a good amount of Googling about the subject. And while I was certainly hoping for the five years, apparently his kidneys were well on their way to failing sooner than later and, by Sunday night, he could no longer walk.
After having him here with me for over ten years, my little black and white friend is gone. Although, I do still have my other cat, Lucinda, the apartment seems so bare, it's missing something. It's missing his personal touch. I will no longer see his circle on my bed. I will no longer experience his paw poking my closed eyelid when I didn't get up in the morning in time, or in my nose, or even pushing on my lips ....when his belly was empty, he was persistent.
I think back on what a great life he did have and also what a great life that I had enjoyed as a result of his antics ....he could be a Buster.
Always loving and always forgiving of my heavy head that would sometimes lay on his body and depend on it for support, comfort, a snuggle. It's just not the same without him. Much sadness, such great memories.